All The Movies I Watched This Year

there aren't a lot and most are not from 2020

Like a lot of people, I found it very hard this year to watch movies. Watching something for more than a half hour felt like I was trudging through mud. Concentrating for too long became a chore. My mind wandered, my eyes darted around the room, sometimes I would drift off to sleep. My brain did not want any new information; the pandemic and all its baggage was more than enough to fill my thoughts.

But I had time to fill. Lots of time. I took to watching segments of baking shows, music videos, Kids in the Hall skits. Just little bursts of entertainment to push me through another hour of being home with nowhere to go, nothing to do. Then my brain wanted more. I still couldn’t concentrate on a new, full length movie, so I started rewatching old movies. Films that were familiar and comfortable, that brought me a sense of well being. For two hours or so I could delve into another world, but one where I didn’t have to concentrate too hard because I knew the world, knew all the lines, all the jokes. It was pure comfort food for the brain.

I rewatched favorites from when my kids were little. Disney Plus provided me with myriad options for this and I spent one entire morning/afternoon watching THE LION KING, LITTLE MERMAID, TOY STORY, and ALADDIN. What joy I found in these films, remembering how Natalie and DJ would lose themselves in these movies, learning all the dialogue, acting out parts together. I still knew all the words to the songs, and I sang them out loud to no one, finding tidbits of happiness within.

I figured animation was the way to go and I wanted more and was ready for something new. So I signed up for HBO Max and devoured some Studio Ghibli movies. SPIRITED AWAY, KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE, AND MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO, all transported me to magical places. For a little while I was somewhere else, I wasn’t stuck at home in the middle of a pandemic. I ventured into other worlds, dissolved into them. Finding something to hold my attention was a small miracle and I was grateful for these movies for being so enthralling.

I wanted more new-to-me movies. But they had to be of a certain kind. Not too deep, nothing that required intense thought or concentration, something with a little flash to it to hold my attention. I started off with animation and watch MOANA at the recommendation of my sister. It was a beautiful, joyful movie and I was so happy to be able concentrate and not have my mind wander.

Yes, I did watch regular movies meant for grown ups. I saw KNIVES OUT, which was a tour de force I thoroughly enjoyed, enough that I’ll probably watch it again. Chris Evans’s sweater, Daniel Craig’s accent, all the twists and turns, just a thoroughly good movie that kept my attention for two full hours, an accomplishment I was grateful for.

There was BAD EDUCATION, which I watched solely because it is a local story and ended up really liking. I watched POPSTAR because everyone told me that if I liked HOT ROD I would enjoy it and it turned out to be one of the absolute best movies I watched this year, but I love Andy Samberg and his brand of comedy, so that was probably a given. Then there was NICE GUYS, a 2016 caper with Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling. A few people recommended it to me on a night when I was starving for something to do besides scroll twitter and miss sports so I dove in, expecting to get bored and turn it off after fifteen minutes. No way. It was charming and funny and I’m so glad I treated myself to that two hours.

As the pandemic went on (and on and on), I forced myself to start more and more movies. I did not finish them all. In fact, I started and stopped more than I finished. I couldn’t do just any old thing. It had to catch me in the first couple of minutes or I was done for. The short attention span and depression-induced desire to just close my eyes rather than make the effort to take in a movie showed itself again and again and I’d go from devouring old media to staring at the walls, not wanting to take anything in. I trailed off on my movie watching and went back to YouTube, to the small doses of entertainment my brain could handle.

But then, just a few weeks ago, I made a Sunday afternoon movie date with my daughter. I took to twitter for recommendations of a movie that would a) hold my attention; b) make me smile; c) didn’t require too much thought. I was caught in a depressive state and was trying to worm my way out of it. Anything that would let me escape that for two hours and keep me interested would be great. Then, from the peanut gallery, a chorus of voices shouted: PADDINGTON. Sure, I thought. I’d watched enough children’s movies during quarantine, what’s one more.

Well. PADDINGTON was utterly and completely delightful. Not only did it keep me interested the whole time, but I wanted more when it was over. I could not get enough of that adorable bear and his family and the charming set pieces and the rest of the cast. It just sat in my heart for hours after, keeping me warm and making me feel like I’d been hugged deeply.

So the next Sunday Natalie came back to the house and we settled in to watch PADDINGTON 2, which I thought could not be as good as the original, as is so often the way with sequels. But! It was better! It was even more charming, more delightful, more heartwarming. In a way, I felt disappointed after that there were no more Paddington movies and that no movie I watched the rest of the year would hold up to it. If you ask me now what my favorite movies of all time are, PADDINGTON 2 is going to make an appearance in the top ten.

So I did not watch a lot of current movies this year, and I did not watch nearly the amount of movies I normally do. But this has not been a normal year, has it? I am glad to have gotten through any films at all, given the way my brain has reacted to this pandemic, and I’m certainly glad to have found a few new ones that will stay with me forever. I hope to give more movies a chance next year. I hope it’s a year that will allow my mind to do just that.

[feel free to recommend more movies to me, as Natalie and I have a standing Sunday movie time and need more good, fun films to watch, or just tell me about movies you watched this year that you loved/hated]