joy: week 15

at last, an abundance

For the past few weeks I struggled to find the joys in my life. They’re always there, it’s just that sometimes they are hard to find. Not so this week; they came to me in abundance and made themselves known. So let’s get right to it.

This is my breezeway. That is a very effective name for what this type of porch is called because the breeze definitely does come your way when you are sitting out there. It’s a wonderful place to sit and read and breathe in the fresh air.

Normally I start setting up the breezeway in April. I sweep, I dust everything off, clean the furniture, buy some plants, etc. But, since I’ve been laid up with various ailments since March, I just wasn’t able to do it. I was sad about it, but just chalked it up to another thing that isn’t getting done this year.

Well, yesterday I looked out my door and there was Loretta, my tenant, sweeping and cleaning and dusting. She was surrounded by plants she bought and was placing them thoughtfully around the breezeway. She had been out there at least an hour before I noticed her. It was 95 degrees out. She turned my neglected porch into something resembling an oasis. She did it because she knew I couldn’t. I was a bit overwhelmed and may have teared up a little. I can’t wait to share the space with her, as we sit outside on cool August nights, laughing and crying about our lives.

Thursday night, I played cards with my mother, my middle sister, my cousin and my cousin’s wife. It’s something we do almost weekly, but I haven’t been able to play until this week, when I my foot felt ok enough to walk across the street to my mom’s on crutches. I had been feeling very restless all week, sort of like a caged animal. I needed to look at different walls. I needed to have a conversation with someone besides myself. So I was so glad I dragged myself over there to play. I find such joy in spending time with my family, and that joy is multiplied when I am the big winner.

One of my greatest joys is listening to music, and sharing that music with other people. This week someone told me they got into Manchester Orchestra because of me and now it’s their favorite band and that made me so incredibly happy. I may not have done a lot with my life but spreading good music around has got to get me some points, right?

This is a grid of the music I listened to the most last week. I feel like it was a great week. Nothing too sad. Every Vampire Weekend album, which is my happy place music. So I can look back on this and see that I was in a decent place mentally last week. But the one album on here that brought me a joy that was hard to contain is none other than Spongebob’s Greatest Hits. What a delight to sit down with this and really sink my teeth into it. Listen to the lyrics, groove with the music, learn all about what makes Spongebob Spongebob. I admit to being high while I did this, so it might not work for you, but the joy I felt listening to “Goofy Goober Rock” carried me for the entire day.

And the last thing, which I am going to keep brief because I am going to write a whole thing on it eventually: I am putting in my retirement papers this week. I do this with deep reservation, but between my health - both physical and mental - and my desire to no longer drive to Hempstead every day, especially in the winter, I am doing it. 26+ years. I just don’t have it in me anymore. I know it’s going to be a rough go financially, but the joy is overriding that for now. I can do this. More later.

Hope you had a good week and your week ahead is fantastic.