joy: week 21

one big joy this week

Sure, I wrote about Reilly last week but I had only had him one day at that point. Now that I’ve spent an entire week with him, I’d like to talk more about Reilly and the joy he has brought me.

I didn’t realize how much I missed having a pet until now. Ren left us in March. It’s been a slog since then, a lot of time spent in grief and in missing having a companion by my side. I was waiting for that grief and loneliness to pass before committing to another animal, but it turns out that getting a kitten has pushed me forward and let me come to terms with missing Ren.

How lovely it is to have this tiny little cat in the house, running all over the place, hopping from couch to table, playing with his toys, cuddling up on my chest. The joy his presence has brought to this house is changing me.

Reilly weighs barely two pounds. I can cradle him in my two hands with room left over. It seems daunting that this little kitten depends on me to feed and nurture him, to keep him happy and healthy and fulfilled. I bought toys and beds and blankets and treats for him. I am doing everything I can to make him a happy cat. Hours with the laser pointer, watching him chase the red dots around the house. Playing peek-a-boo with him when he’s in his little cat hut. Talking to him like he understands me. He has already added so much value to my life, and has become my best buddy. He will lay on my chest for hours, his soft little purrs making me feel like he knows I will keep him safe and content.

I was looking for some sort of purpose now that I’m not working anymore, something to get me up in the morning, make me feel useful. I was also looking for somewhere to put the love I have left to give in my life. Focusing on Reilly and loving him and keeping him happy is giving me that sense of purpose.

Reilly has also made me take out the good camera again. I chase him around the house trying to get him to stay at least a little still for pictures. And even if I don’t get any great portraits of him, having the camera out and in use is a good thing. I really need to get back into photography.

Sometimes I goof up and call him Ren. Sometimes I say she instead of he. It’s the remnant of having female dogs for the last twelve years. But I feel Ren’s presence in Reilly, in that silliness and playfulness, and I think he forgives me for the name mishaps.

I suppose there were other joys in my first week of retirement; the not having to get up and get ready for work, not having to sit at a desk all day, not having to make that commute, not having to answer to anyone or anything but a plaintive meow that lets me know it’s time to eat or be held.

Reilly has already, after just a week here, improved my mental health. That’s a big checkmark in the joy column. So this week is dedicated to my new best friend.

Have a great week ahead, everyone. Take your joys where you can find them. They are there if you look.