joy: week 24

falling into happiness

twin lakes, wantagh ny

It is October. Welcome to my favorite month of the year, my favorite time of the year, and also the most harrowing time of year. I love the weather of this month. I love the vivid sunsets, the long, early shadows, the changing leaves, and Halloween. But I also hate that it feels like another year is closing in on me. I will try my best to find the many joys that exist in October and not think about the impending winter. For now, I’m just glad that fall is here in all its glory.

I started with a new therapist a couple of weeks ago. My two previous therapists were a washout. The first one - who I had phone sessions with during the pandemic - used to do her dishes and tend to her kid while were were talking and that unnerved me. I also hated doing therapy on the phone. She eventually left the practice, letting me breathe a sigh of relief because I didn’t want to let her go because her boyfriend died of COVID and I felt bad. She often spent sessions talking about herself, and I felt like our roles had reversed.

My second therapist, whom I saw on Zoom, was useless. She would say “I hear you” and “that’s valid” to everything I said but offered no ideas of how to address my issues. I don’t want talk therapy, I want constructive ways to approach my various problems. Which leads us to K., my new therapist, and the joy I have experienced at being listened to, and made to feel like I have the power to change things. She has already given me more weapons in my mental arsenal than the other two combined. I feel like I’m tackling my issues rather than just talking about them. When I leave her office - being in person is so much better - I feel a sort of exhilaration that I am moving forward and have concrete steps to take. It kinds of wipes me out emotionally, but that is therapy working its way through my brain. It’s good.

This week marked the return of my favorite show, The Great British Bake Off (Netflix). It was so wonderful to see those faces again, to be back in the tent, to feel the comfort and warmth I get from a competition show where everyone is supportive of one another. Bake Off is so easy going, the entire show feels like a big hug. I look forward to Friday mornings, where I can ease in to my day by watching the most comforting show there is.

Hockey is back! Sure, it’s the pre-season, but I don’t care. The Yankees season is basically over, so I have moved on and welcomed the hockey season back with open arms. I love my New York Islanders, and I love hockey. My whole family enjoys the sport, too, and we have a hockey group chat where we talk about the games and everything that goes on during the season. It’s just a wonderful time of year, made even better because I get to watch hockey again

I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about my kittens for a minute, because they truly bring me so much joy. Reilly is getting big, I feel like he’s going to be a fat cat. Pixie is still a peanut. They love chasing each other around the house, jumping on to each other, playing with their toys, and sleeping cuddled up together. They make me so happy.

Now for this week’s music selection. I discovered, through internet friends who have been talking it up since July, the music of Josaleigh Pollett. Spotify describes her as “tender and thoughtful DIY indie rock” and that’s a great description. Really nice music, soothing and introspective. Enjoying the album a lot.

I’m looking back through my camera roll to see if I missed anything and there’s just a hundred pictures of my kittens. I have successfully transitioned into a retired cat lady, and that, my friends, brings me joy.

Hope you enjoy the week ahead.