The Legacy of Trump

four years of hell doesn't just abruptly end

[I don’t usually talk about politics on here, but I needed to speak to this, to attempt to articulate the feeling of despair I have, even with a new day dawning. Feel free to skip this one if politics is not what you read my newsletter for]

It’s inauguration day. Today at noon, Donald Trump will cease to be our president. That’s a good thing. A great thing, even. But, unlike a lot of other people, I am not elated. I am not filled with joy or acting like it’s all rainbows and puppies from here on.

This has nothing to do with the incoming administration as it has to do with Trump’s legacy. The damage he did to this country is untold. The legacy he leaves behind is one which we will have to reckon with for a long time. You can’t just fold yourself out of four years of destruction. The impact of his words, his actions, and most of all, his inaction will be with us for a long time.

Ask the family and friends of the 400,000 people who died while on his watch. The lack of a national mandate of any kind, the way he blew off the virus even when he had it, his lack of empathy and caring in dealing with a pandemic, it all added up to disaster. He failed us. He failed the 400,000 who died and he failed the millions who got sick. It was all so avoidable, so unnecessary. The way he handled this crisis was a glimpse into his entire presidency: ignore basic facts, worry about optics only, fail to lead.

There were other things. So many other things. His immigration policies. His nationalism and “me first” attitude. His racist, xenophobic leanings. His refusal to accept election results. His continual denial of science, both on the virus front and in regards to climate change. His absolute buffoonery, turning the image of American president into one of a clown.

And then there’s the fanbase. The insurrection wasn’t a sudden happening, it wasn’t spontaneous, and it did not come about because of some remarks he made on January 6th. It was four years in the making. Trump spent those years riling up his base, telling them it was ok to be racist, to have white supremacy leanings, to be unfeeling about the plights of others, to hate journalists to the point of wishing them dead, to be angry and violent. He pushed those ideals, he stirred up their emotions, he led them into becoming an armed mob of deranged nationalists, ready to do his bidding, ready to read into everything he said as a call to action. He did this. He made the Proud Boys what they are. He egged them on because they fed his ego, made him feel powerful and made him feel the love he never got otherwise.

Those people are not going away. This country is divided in a way I have not seen in my 58 years on this earth. There’s no coming back from what he did to us. At least not for a long, long time. Biden can talk about healing and unity all he wants but the fact remains that the people who swallow Trump’s words whole don’t want to heal or unify, and never will. Just because he’s out of office doesn’t mean they won’t still be carrying out his marching orders. He might not be on twitter anymore, he might not have the megaphone the presidency offered him, but he is now, as a regular citizen, free to say whatever the hell he wants whenever the hell he wants. They’ll still listen to him. They’ll still believe the election was stolen. We won’t know peace. We won’t know unity. And it’s on him. He did this.

There was a thread on twitter yesterday about all the goofy things Trump did during his presidency, from serving McDonald’s to visitors to pushing world leaders away so he could be up front in a crowd of them. There were dozens of these instances and when put together they were good for a laugh, but pardon me if I don’t feel like laughing, if I don’t want to view him as a circus clown good for a meme and a chuckle. He tore this country apart. He is responsible for deaths. He is responsible for families being separated at the border, kids torn from their parents and put up for adoption. He is responsible for an attempted coup.

400,000 dead people. I can’t get over that. I can’t get past the fact that this didn’t have to be, that there was never any national mourning, the he failed to lead the country at a time when we needed it most. He was so concerned with himself and his image that he forgot about us. He forgot about the people he was supposed to be governing.

I’m sorry I can’t join in your joyous celebrations today. I’m sorry I’m not feeling like everything is magically going to get better. There’s a lot to unwind before we can get there. There’s a lot of damage to undo, a lot of mourning to do, a lot of reckoning to deal with. And we’re going to be dealing with it for a long time. Your neighbors - your teachers and lawyers and mailmen - have been left in a state of unrighteous anger by Trump. They will still be looking for an outlet, for people to blame for their woes, for any reason to go off on a tirade. They will still view you as the enemy and our country as their personal battlefield. This is his legacy. And that legacy is going to be felt for years to come. We’re a ravaged country and I don’t think the incoming administration is going to change that in four short years.

Trump set us on a path for combustion and we just reached the peak of that two weeks ago. That peak is going to last. I feel hopeless and lost and I wish I could end this by speaking of hope and optimism, but those rainbows and puppies just are not going to happen. Not in four years. Not with the damage he did to us.

Enjoy the inauguration. I want you to have hope. I want you to feel good. Just because I’m in despair doesn’t mean everyone has to be. I’m worn out, I’m mentally exhausted, and I suspect a lot of you are, too. I’m glad he’s going. I’m thrilled he will no longer be our president. Here’s to the future. May it be better than I’m imagining it will be.