this is not a love song
songs that speak of love to me, for valentines day
It’s Valentine’s Day and instead of writing a long, sad essay about being alone again on this putrid holiday, I’ve instead compiled some of my favorite “love songs” for you. Enjoy.
The National – “Apartment Story”
Is it a love song or an ode to Seasonal Affective Disorder? No matter. It’s a love song to me, one that makes the otherwise dark, confining claustrophobia of winter seem like something to savor in lieu of taking part in life outside your door. Hiding out, maybe getting drunk and listening to records while you wait for some kind of unpleasantness to intrude on you, barring the door against not only the winter but the pretense of life, of going through the motions of facing the world as put-together human beings rather than the fractured people we are. Sleep in our clothes and wait for winter to leave has always struck me as romanticized agoraphobia, making “Apartment Story” a perfect love song for the frightened, the fractured, the weary and those we bring down into the abyss of our winters with us.
Queens of the Stone Age - “Make it Wit Chu”
When I was last part of a couple, this was our song. It’s not a conventional love song by any means, but there’s nothing conventional about QOTSA. The song is sultry and beckoning and feels dangerous in a way that makes you want to run toward it instead of running away, even though you know this absolutely means trouble for you in the immediate future. There’s a heady love/lust combination here that hits that sweet spot right before “this song is too horny.”
Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit- “If We Were Vampires”
A good love song can make you cry; a great one makes you weep. The first time I heard this one I cried so hard in my car that I had to pull over to catch my breath. I was deep in love with my husband at the time and the idea that one of us would be gone before the other pulled at my heart in such a way that it fell apart right there in a dark Starbucks parking lot. With this song, you are witness to a love so profound you absorb it into your own heart and break down accordingly.
The Mountain Goats - “Old College Try”
Holding hands until the bitter, inevitable end. That feeling when there’s still a shred of love for each other but you know it has to end. When the cons outnumber the pros but you’re willing to ride it out until all the pros get crossed off the list. A love that endures, even when the relationship doesn’t. It’s dark and desperate and it fills your heart.
Bright Eyes - “First Day of My Life”
This song captures that feeling of falling so hard for someone that you feel high all the time, whether you are with them or not. Just a constant feeling of walking on air. There’s trepidation but there’s also an optimistic resignation, like this is it, this is the one and I don’t have to look anymore, let’s do this. It’s a sweet song for the most part, even if the lines but I'd rather be working for a paycheck/than waiting to win the lottery speak to a settling of sorts. And that’s ok. It has to be.
Foo Fighters - “Everlong”
I avoided this song for a long time because of some memories attached to it, but I recently came back around to it and I have, on its behalf, laid claim to it being the greatest love song ever made. It’s absolutely perfect in its sentiment, in its music, in the way it captures everything about falling in love and staying there. The song acknowledges it won’t feel like this forever, but it’s all about taking the chance that it will always feel good enough.
Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
There is no greater love song lyric than and you love me til my heart stops, love me til i’m dead.