As a father of two girls who are in their early 20’s, and who are, I’m convinced, both still very much umbilically-attached to their mother, I have not moved into this phase yet. While I can certainly imagine the bittersweet results of offspring independence, if it means they’re off my mobile phone plan, I accept the repercussions.
Your son is in the middle of my kids range of ages. I think our problem is our self identity revolved around being a parent for so long that now that the parenting part is over we're left wondering what we are now?
(That, and the "How did I get to be so old? Can 30 years really have gone by that fast?" thing)
From the Washington Post's Michael Gerson from a great essay about parents letting go.
"Eighteen years is not enough. A crib is bought. Christmas trees get picked out. There is the park and lullabies and a little help with homework. The days pass uncounted, until they end. The adjustment is traumatic...I know something he doesn’t — not quite a secret, but incomprehensible to the young. He is experiencing the adjustments that come with beginnings. His life is starting for real. I have begun the long letting go. Put another way: He has a wonderful future in which my part naturally diminishes. I have no possible future that is better without him close."
As a father of two girls who are in their early 20’s, and who are, I’m convinced, both still very much umbilically-attached to their mother, I have not moved into this phase yet. While I can certainly imagine the bittersweet results of offspring independence, if it means they’re off my mobile phone plan, I accept the repercussions.
Your son is in the middle of my kids range of ages. I think our problem is our self identity revolved around being a parent for so long that now that the parenting part is over we're left wondering what we are now?
(That, and the "How did I get to be so old? Can 30 years really have gone by that fast?" thing)
From the Washington Post's Michael Gerson from a great essay about parents letting go.
"Eighteen years is not enough. A crib is bought. Christmas trees get picked out. There is the park and lullabies and a little help with homework. The days pass uncounted, until they end. The adjustment is traumatic...I know something he doesn’t — not quite a secret, but incomprehensible to the young. He is experiencing the adjustments that come with beginnings. His life is starting for real. I have begun the long letting go. Put another way: He has a wonderful future in which my part naturally diminishes. I have no possible future that is better without him close."